"Do You Sell Condoms?"

A sixty year old man walks into a big drug store and walks up to the

girl at checkout #3. He asks her, "Do you guys have condoms here?"

She says "Sure. What size are you?" "I don't know" he replies.

"Well, just let me check" the cashier volunteers. She unzips his pants,

takes a feel, and then she says over the intercom, "EXTRA LARGE

CONDOMS TO AISLE 3, PLEASE. EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS

TO AISLE 3." A stockboy brings the condoms. The man pays for them

and leaves.

Later, a thirty year old man walks into the store and up to checkout #3.

He asks the girl, "Do you sell condoms here?" The cashier replies,

"Sure, but what size do you need?" He says "Well, I don't know."

She says "Just let me check here." She unzips his pants, takes a couple

of tugs and then says over the intercom, " LARGE CONDOMS TO

AISLE 3, PLEASE. LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3."

A stockboy brings the condoms. The man pays for them and leaves.

Seeing this, a fifteen year old boy who hopes to get lucky goes up to

the girl at checkout #3 and asks sheepishly, "Um, ah, do you guys sell

any condoms here?" "Yep" she says. "What size do you need?" "I

don't know" he says. She unzips his zipper for a feel, pauses and says

over the intercom, "CLEAN UP IN AISLE, 3 PLEASE. CLEAN UP

IN AISLE 3!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Love Potion"

A fellow goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are

coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have

something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party."

The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty

bottle and says, "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it,

and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let

me know how it goes."

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes

to work and finds the same guy waiting for him on the door-step.

The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was

your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick, I need Blue Ice (a muscle

pain relief).

The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend,

says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is

way too sensitive."

The guy says, "Oh, no, no! It's not for that; it's for my arm."

Pharmacist: "What?? What happened?"

Guy replies, "Well... I drank the whole bottle of your potion."

Pharmacist: "Oh my G-d! Then what?!?"