Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let

her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother

appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to

go to the ball, but only on two conditions. First, you must wear a

diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must

be home by 2:00 a.m. Any laterthan that and your diaphragm will turn into

a pumpkin."

****** Editor's note: Ouch! ******

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2. The appointed hour comes and goes,

and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up,

looking love-struck and *very* satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands

the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin

three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of

everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! What was his