A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's

Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a

detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so

interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner

what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a

thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the

rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the

bronze rat under his arm.

As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge

from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking

over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes

another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.

By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at

his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even

faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from

sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the

thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the

bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.No matter

how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not

just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up

to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is

behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it

with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay

with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and

clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething

tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they

drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah,

so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist,

"I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."

Bonus Jokette

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Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate

my mother-in-law."