Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?

A: Third Grade.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?

A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?

A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see "20,000

Leagues Under The Sea"?

A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there

were so many teams.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that stood in front of her mirror

with her eyes closed?

A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

****************************************************************

New Computer Viruses You need to look out for

BOBBIT VIRUS

Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But en slowly

expands back to 200MB.

AT&T VIRUS

Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS

Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T

virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS

This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard

disk attack --once if by LAN, twice if by C/:

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS

Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic

microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS

Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt

to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible

alternatives.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS

Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing

quits.

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS

It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

TED TURNER VIRUS

Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS

Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #1

Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into

a binary network.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2

Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out