How Sex is Like Riding a Bicycle

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar

territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until

you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of

experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you

are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's

usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

=======================================================

* Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw

this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd

bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind

her. This went on about 2-3 minutes.

I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was

declined though. She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not

going to use them once in a while ?"

- - - - -

* My daughter-in-law bought a brand new super fancy Japanese

sports car. I think she's gotten a little carried away though

in caring for it. Nobody's allowed to get in it unless they

take off their shoes first.

- - - - -

* I saw some of the Daytona 500 car race the other week. The

TV announcer said that the pit crews can have all the tires

off of the car in thirty seconds or less.

Hell -- that ain't nothing. The guy's obviously never been

to Maryland. You can see kids in Baltimore City do it a lot

faster than that anytime ya want.

- - - - -

* Being from the 50's I guess I'm too used to full sized cars.

I mean my lil' Mazda is a nice car and all, but it's just too

small. Take the glove compartment for example, all I can get

in there is two fingers and a thumb.

- - - - -

* I did get a hell of a bargain though when I bought that Mazda.

The dealer threw in the carrying case for nothing.

- - - - -

* The British, not to be outdone with sub-subcompact cars, have

just come out with one where the windshield is so small it's