Perfect Day According to: HER

   8:45      Wake up to hugs and kisses
   9:00      5 lbs. lighter on the scale
   9:30      Light Breakfast
   11:00     Sunbathe
   12:30     Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
   2:30      Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs.
   3:00      Facial, massage, nap
   7:30      Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
   10:00     Make love
   11:30     Pillow talk in his big strong arms

   The Perfect Day According to: HIM

   6:45  AM      Alarm.
   7:00-7:30     Shower and massage.
   7:30-7:45     Blowjob.
   7:45-8:15     Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
   8:15          Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
   8:30          Butler Aviation, Orlando International, Lear Jet to Augusta,Georgia.
   9:30          Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
   11:30-12:30   Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
   12:30-12:45   Blowjob.
   12:45-2:30    Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
   2:30          Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
   3:30-6:15     Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless).  Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
   6:15-6:30     Blowjob.
   6:30          Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
   7:30          Shit, shower, shave.
   8:00-9:00     Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hilary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
   9:00-10:30    Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettuchini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum), creme brulet, Louis XIV Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
   10:30-11:30   Sex with 3 women (minimum of two with mixed racial origin).
   11:30-12:00   Whirlpool, steam and massage.
   Midnight      Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Sleep.

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